10 Haikus About Office Life

Working in an office is a bit like living with your family. You see the same familiar faces and rituals day after day, for better and for worse.

We thought it was time to celebrate some of the mundane practices that make up the culture of office life with this collection of haikus.

Making tea

Brewing up is a great excuse to get away from the desk for five minutes. Just one problem: your lazier colleagues may grow to depend on you for their regular cup of tea – and everyone will expect you to remember their favorite teabag and how many sugars they take.

I offered them tea, like monsters they all said "me", nineteen cups of tea

Returning from Vacation

How soon the sheen of a refreshing break wears off! When you’re on an island in the middle of nowhere, it feels like your office no longer exists. But it takes just ten minutes back at your desk before you feel like you never left.

Tanned glow, relaxed smile, work stress gone until I see five thousand emails.

Accidental “Reply All”

Office gossip has taken on an exciting new dimension in the digital age. Now, when you get a memo, it takes just a few clicks to make a dry comment about it to your best work buddy across the room. But remember: always take a deep breath and double-check the recipients before you click ‘send’!

Shrink in my corner, my boss has seen... Hit "Replied All" to send a meme.

Busted Computer

Do you work in one of those offices where the computers are turning slightly yellow with age and the tech manager knows less about IT than your five year-old? Then you can be sure you’re going to get that spinning cursor right before your boss expects you to turn in a major project.

Important meeting, crucial files...ten minutes... woe computer won't start.

Conference Call Woes

They told us that in the future we’ll all have flying cars and talk to each other on videophones. While the flying cars are still around the corner, we’ve already forgotten how futuristic the idea of a Skype-like invention used to be. Even still, those science-fiction movies never predicted the time lag, the dropped calls, or making a call from home in your shirt, tie, and underpants, did they?

Hello, Hey, Hello! Has the conference call stopped or was I kicked out?

Office Birthdays

It doesn’t take long before you run out of witty things to say in the endless sea of office birthday cards to which you’re asked to contribute. But even among dozens of signatures, you’re sure to be noticed if you forget to sign your name.

Sing, laugh, sign, repeat, office birthdays ev'ry week, at least we get cake

 

The Wi-Fi cuts out

That no Wi-Fi moment in the office is like a rainy lunch break at primary school. Suddenly, everyone’s a bit giddy and trapped indoors with nothing to do. ‘Perhaps we should work from home for the rest of the day?,’ you offer optimistically.

No wifi, no calls, no emails, no rules...chaos...wait...thank God it's back.

 

Coffee Break

Perhaps, in a parallel universe, the characters from Game of Thrones stand around at 10:30 a.m. sipping coffee and discussing the latest events that took place in the office. With a little bit of flirting and personal gossip thrown in, too, of course.

Sleepy, tired, almost Done, but my heart jumped when you said, 'Some coffee hun?'

 

Monday Morning Zombie

Every office has morning people and afternoon people. For health and safety reasons, it is best to give these two groups plenty of space from each other.

Do not speak to me on Monday mornings or else I may eat your brains.

 

Awkward Elevator

Everyone is familiar with the ‘elevator nod.’ The architectural design of your building compels you to spend several minutes at a time in a small, windowless space with people that you know well enough to nod to, but not with whom to speak. Instead, you re-work that nod every time you make eye contact, in between staring at the floor and willing the elevator to move faster and bring an to end this purgatory.

Elevator full. Hold your breath and stand still, eyes fixed on numbered lights.

 

Which of your colleagues will totally get these poetic insights into office life?

 

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